You stand in line outside the club, the Horizontal Boogie Bar. You have never done the horizontal boogie, and so have only a vague idea of how cheesy that name truly is. Years later, when they change it to the Water Street Music Hall, you’ll just get nostalgic for the rudeness. Lucky age group, you missed out on the sexism of the ‘80’s and got the kitsch of the ‘90’s. Recycling rules, yeah.

But standing in the line, as the light drizzle of rain begins to wash the fresh purple hair dye off your head and onto your face, you feel yourself surrounded by hundreds of Really Cool People. And your escort, your friend's mom; who, your brain slowly wraps around the concept, must also be Really Cool. Lucky Steve, with his punk-rock, fake-tooth-painting mamma and her singlemom badassness.

You are waiting to see Hole. And some other bands who are not Hole, so they’re less important because Hole is equivalent to your burgeoning Feminist Punk Consciousness. Hole is truly pissed, like you. Hole is full of wild and out of control antics, like you want to be. Hole is tough, hot women who take no shit. This is something for you to look up to, as opposed to, say, most of the other women in the world [not including Steve's mom].

So you get inside and the planet begins to explode. There are adults everywhere who are so stylish and your purple face is barely noticeable in the low lighting. You run up to the pit, where there are several hundred alternative people milling around with beer and cigarettes. You do not yet love beer, so this does not really matter, except when you slip a little on spills.

Hole comes on and you have your first best gay top moment when you instantly realise that you want to fuck Courtney Love and not have her to do a thing to you. Her muscly legs, the bruises on her biceps, the little bits of pink in her hair, the way she can sing all tender and tough. You hold her up as she crownsurfs by, and later 1) she claims that someone tried to finger her and steal her jewlery while she was in the pit in your town and 2) your friend gives you the brooch she took off Courtney that night.

To start your own punk band.
To steal slips from the thrift store intead of attending high school.
To go on a special date with your boyfriend, who was not invited to Hole.