Punk Babes

You meet several girls who are much cooler than you because their moms made them move out at 16 and you still have to live at home like the big loser you are. Despite your status, these girls befriend you and you become a virtual roommate at their house, although you actually clean up your beer bottles, which takes away from your roommate-ness. You meet their tattooed older men and wonder why teenage girls are so attractive to 23 year-olds. You develop a big crush on the craziest and hottest girl of the bunch, and think about how her boyfriend passes out at night, whereas you can always stay up.

One ginandtonic April friday night, all you girls go out and steal a cross from a nearby church. Easter? Oh yeah. Some neighbor must have called the cops, because they come knocking on your door asking for the cross to be returned. The 23year odls who bought the beer are freaking out, and you shove the cross into one of the girls rooms, turn off the lights, and all pretend to go to sleep. The one person who is actually sleeping, the girl you are sleeping with, pukes a little, near your face. When a cop opens the door and turns on the light, everyone "wakes up" and acts really amazed and surprised about the 10-foot-tall cross in the room. The cop insists it get returned, but someone no one is available to get up and do it. Except you. You carry the cross on your back down the street to the church, and stick it back in the ground so, who knows, everyne can think deeply on Jesus's stigmata. Whatever, you go back to the party and take a well earned beer.

The next day you cover your car in glitter. Life is worth it.

To join their band as a lyric writer-cum-bassist.
To lust over girls who are straight..
OMG making friends is fun!

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